| Sorry but |
[09 Apr 2006|06:37am] |
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 tired |
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I just made myself an LJ I update in french, cause with work I'm way too lazy and busy to write in english sorry ^^;;
It's ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=91.6) purpleoceansoul and Luthien , you can ask to Vega to tell you what it is about if really you're curious ^^;
see you there anyway
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| A job!! |
[31 Mar 2006|05:49pm] |
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mood |
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 good |
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Yay!!! I have a job, 15 hours a week, which can't make a living but is better than nothing...
I will have to make the children cross the street at hours of entering school and living it, and stay with the surveillants to watch them at dinner time. You know with a flashy color on me and a little "!" sign to show cars when they must stop to let the children cross...
I won't be able to be at home even if my working hours are 8 am to 8 h30 am, 11 am to 2 pm , and 4h30 pm to 5pm cause it's away from home, but I'll spend some time at the city center then ^^
I just hope I can break the contract if library calls me back for the maid job cause it was twice the salary!
Nothing to do with it, but just offered myself a LOTR mug and a life-sized gandalf the white in paperboard :)
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| Big "reprise en main" |
[28 Mar 2006|05:21pm] |
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mood |
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 hyper |
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Please vega if you can translate "reprise en main " for arctica that would be wonderful ^^;
Ok, so today I faced it : I'm letting my body in a bad state, and I have to react.
The mix of lack of proteins ( lack of proteins was the problem that forced me to make a diet at 14), remains of anorexia (let's face it, I was so as a teenage, and one depriving self of a kind of food like meat, sugar is tendancy caused by anorexia) , lack of sleep (blame the PC for that, anf the fact that I always wake up early, 5 am, to help my mother prepare her things for work) , and too much energy that still non spent,more feeling good for nothing since I stopper studies and however didn't get a job, cause my bulimia and intestine troubles ( it seems I don't keep food in my organs , even good one ).
So now is time for a whole effort :
Swimming Pool, no more PC after 10 pm (and stoppeing TV at that hour) , and I'm reintroducing fatless ham, fish, proteins biscuits, some light cheese and a yoghourt, along with my usual brown rice, stewed fruits and tofu (tofu being alternated with the ham ).
Gotta make something of this physical envelope of my soul , after all it doesn't look bad, must have some potential :p
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| Samples of Within Temptation fav lyrics |
[25 Mar 2006|10:44pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
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Enter:
Come near me,
enter my private chambers,
I want to feel the warmth on my face,
light-in darkness,
lift me up from here.
Give me you wings,
to flee from my ivory tower.
The dance:
The wind takes the leaves where he
wants them to go
His tunes enchant our world,
our thoughts and leaves us frozen
In this heart of mine
It's you I find
Take my hand
I'll take you to the promised land
You're the one
Mother Earth:
Birds and butterflies
Rivers and mountains she creates
But you'll never know
The next move she'll make
You can try
But it is useless to ask why
Cannot control her
She goes her own way
Ice Queen :
She covers the earth with a breathtaking cloak
The sun awakes and melts it away
The world now opens its eyes and sees
The dawning of a new day
Our Farewell
In my hands
A legacy of memories
I can hear you say my name
I can almost see your smile
Feel the warmth of your embrace
But there is nothing but silence now
Around the one I loved
Is this our farewell?
Neverending Story
We're part of a story, part of a tale
We're all on this journey
No one is to stay
Where ever it's going
What is the way?
We're part of a story, part of a tale
Sometimes beautiful and sometimes insane
No one remembers how it began.
Dark Wings:
Why was I one of the chosen ones?
Until the fight I could not see
The magic and the strength of my power
It was beyond my wildest dreams
Dark wings they are descending
See shadows gathering around
One by one they are falling
Every time they try to strike us down
Perfect harmony:
Ancient spirits of the forest
Made him king of elves and trees
He was the only human being
Who lived in harmony
In perfect harmony
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| -_- |
[24 Mar 2006|02:36pm] |
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mood |
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Ok today is going wrong it seems ^^;
First, nothing big, but I got irritated with the game test of GW Factions not working right. Anyway, a worl exclusively asian miss of Heroic Fantasy to me, so I should not be too disappointed even if that doesn't work here...I'd say I prfer to save for Spellborn, but I'm not sure of wanting a paying MMOPRPG, depends if I'm working or not then.
Second, I have death angsts today. Even more right now. I just feel stupid being alive and meeting and loving people and animals to see them die one day..I know it's stupid as an opinion, but it comes like an angst and I can't fight it x_x
Well, at least I'm conscious it will stop soon -those crisises aren't long usually. So don't bother with it please ^^
mmmmh I'm sure thinking about my RP will change my mood....hope so anyway
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| a few things |
[22 Mar 2006|06:27pm] |
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mood |
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optimistic |
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First, today, I had a revelation : if I work soon, I'll pay myself singing classes, and will join a band in the Within Temptation style for fun :) (it's Sharon 's voice that decided me...and the Fantasy Metal style)
I always wanted to find the artsy thing that would suit me !
So now I waaaaant to work!!!
~Random wishlist (for when I have the money)~
2 dvds of WT + missing cd
1 dvd of blackmore nights
My dragon statue I saw in t he store
Going to the hair salon
Non animal-tested make-up and cosmetic
Oh vega having seen your pics made me want to post one I took lately -I look a little weird because of my hair (they are not like in reality o_o)and I'm too skinny, but still it's a cute pic with Tsuki in my arms ^^ (but why the red tones of my hair and the green of my eyes never appear??)
Pics :
( Read more... )
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| Resolutions |
[21 Mar 2006|05:55pm] |
Now I stopped sugar / sweet food (but daily stewed fruits and some oriental pastries once or twice a week)and feel way better , I also decided to go and do some swimming once a week at the only public pool that isn't a dirty mess
I think this is the only sport I enjoy doing, probably because I can motivate me with imagination ^^; *imagines herself swimming to escape some Ring Wraith or something this way *
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| Guild wars fun |
[20 Mar 2006|08:07am] |
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mood |
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 busy |
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I just played creating how my charas would look in each class
-however I skipped male Monk, Warrior and Mesmerizer cause I do really think they are ugly >_<
My fav (after my Saerwenn elementalist) is the warrioress who is really beautiful <3
(both men and women are more good looking in element. to me)
The mesmerizers wouldn't be ugly but she does look so vain...
Pics behind the cut
( Read more... )
Oh zel will you be on GW at some moments in tomorrow morning? will be able to play there ^^
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| Hitori de... |
[17 Mar 2006|06:12pm] |
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mood |
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 lonely |
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Mmmmm if you feel I'm gonna bore you with "I miss a man " drama, please skip it ^^;
I would like to have someone to exist for besides my parents, someone whose presence reassure me - I again dreamt about my "teenage love" this night, which is a sign I feel alone it seems...
I'm sure such a presence would help me for my death angst and such -life takes sense when you live it for someone as well.
All I ask is for someone who loves fantasy and such, not a party beast lol, and love for animals...mmmmh I would like to say looks doesn't matter, but I know myself enough to know it's a lie...I do have a big thing for long hair and thin frame ^^; (and if I don't feel at ease with my parter's looks, then I fear I'd quickly turn the bound into platonic friendship ^^;;)
Sorry just had to complain a bit, hope I didn't bore anyone :/
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| Stopping sweet food! |
[16 Mar 2006|11:30am] |
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mood |
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 determined |
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After a few time studying myself, I realized that what causes me bulimia is simply sweet, sugar-things taste. (Even natural sweet like fruits)
It seems that it's related with my childhood, or I don't know, I can feel there is something big hidden here.
That's not very sad though, cause while I can't solve this problem I can eat non-sweet stuff and feel totally happy with it -sugar things aren't my aboslute fav!
I just hope I won't take TOO MUCH weight because of those weird bulimia crises, but anyway that was the last time unti I resolve my trouble so I guess it'll be ok ^^
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| Update |
[14 Mar 2006|09:02pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
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First off all, I have to mention that my mother is exhausted lately, my father doesn't help enough, so I'm gonna focuse on help her with chores, my grandmother ect and will be less online -however there is no problem for the rp's on sfan and even Multiverse (always have a moment here and then to post).
For Vega : Would you please send the pics you took when we played? I'd like to see them, and maybe make more icons :)
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| Guild Wars characters |
[11 Mar 2006|09:57pm] |
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mood |
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busy |
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Ok so I made 4 charas : one is a random ranger Saerwenn, just to play that profession.
One is a female necromant that I am envisaging with a story on her own, Crystal.
And the main characters if I may say are the elementalist Saerwenn (the "true" Saerwenn lol) and an elementalist male I may imagine her having some romance with (yeah, I'm thinking of writing a fanatsy story one day and already gathering ideas).
For the rp with you Vega and Luthien, I will use the true Searwenn or maybe, once in a while, Crystal ^^
(others are for gaming alone and trying something different)
One thing is, I have no ideas how to take pics from the charcters in the game *scratches head* ..Please Vega can you help me ^^;;;
EDIT : I'm plannig to have Saerwenn a full elementalist, my other elementalist priest has the second profession, my necromant either ful necromant or necromant warrioress, as for my ranger I don't know yet she's just a test of some sort
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| Finally! |
[11 Mar 2006|07:27pm] |
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mood |
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excited |
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Could get a decent GUILD WARS game ^^
I went to the supermarket where I bought the game -it was about to be complicated -the "boss" wasn't there to decide so they didn't wanted to pay me back at first (there were no other game left so I wanted to be paid back and buy it somewhere else.)
..but I played the "charming innocent chick" (means hyper polite, hyper feminine and a little lost) so they gave up and pay me back lol (wouldn't have worked with women, I was lucky)
And now I'm having fun with my Saerwenn ^^
I think I'll make 3 girls (including Saerwenn) and a man cause some male looks are very dashing ;p
I also need some nice Guild Wars LJ icon :)
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| Thanks Amelia! |
[07 Mar 2006|10:07pm] |
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mood |
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 weird |
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Zfter having talked with Luthien / Amelia / Aurora ect... ;) , I thought about it and decided to combine almonds and soy milk to get my calcium, which will be better for health than milk, and stick to [edit lol]chinese soy cakes -so sweet and yummy, and they don't have milk, nor eggs in it.
Milk has many flaws, from the one that they don't respect the cows and send them to death when they are not productive enough, it destroys health too.
So I can be vegan, while not depriving me totally, which sounds a good thing ^^
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[07 Mar 2006|05:26pm] |
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mood |
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 hopeful |
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Just been disconnected from AIM, sorry Zel, hope I catch you soon!
....
Funny how strong interests never die...I had though that Slayers was too much connected to bad memories (and good too, but still ^^; ) for me to get into it again, and still it's what happening now ^^
....
About me , I think I got wrong for all those years...I think I kinda denied my feminity by staying underweight. Now I'm gonna sound Lina-ish; but I'd really like to be a little more femininely shaped , and all around me confirm I have the type to be a little more "womanly". Now I'm ready to work on finding the good balance, with a balanced diet including some pleasure in it, and some fat too-that I probably need to fix my health troubles, a woman having to have some fat to have her body work normallY...and probably, an "happier" silouhette will go with an "happier" state of mind...actually it seems it's already working ^^
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| Arwen and Eowyn... |
[06 Mar 2006|11:38am] |
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mood |
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are my 2 octodonts (aka degus) I have just adopted!!
I don't have a digital cam for now, but they are so so cute, clever and curious!! If you put the hand in the cage they jump on it!
I'm gonna buy them one of those wheels they can run in, for it's THE toy for octodonts.
We made sure it wasn't "Arwen & Aragorn" of course, otherwhise we'd soon have enough degus to make a mini-LOTR movie ^^;
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| Finally got a decent screename! |
[05 Mar 2006|02:05pm] |
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mood |
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sick |
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"SAERWENN" shall be my one and only screenname from there (except "Enchantress Of Dawn" which sounds pretty cool too I think ^^ )
Since I'm no more "Lina", not really "Sylphiel" and Mari is a little too "real-lif"-ish, Saerwenn ("Marie" in Elvish) will be fine!
Make sme think I gotta update somethings on my RP sheet on sfan, about my chara ^^
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| Big Update about food disorders...'s gonna be boring , be warned! |
[05 Mar 2006|12:51pm] |
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mood |
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 thoughtful |
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Ok.
I can't deny it now and my mother thinks the same as me :
Veganism causes me bulimia.
I don't think I never really told about this, but I had to make a diet when I was 14 years old , I lost 30 kilos ( 66 pounds) in 9 months (a doctor was looking after me though, I didn't made it alone) but it completely changed my attitude towards food, and I started focusing on healthy food, more and more for years, until I reached the Vegan / Sugarfree state of mind. But denying my true nature , that was not to be fat but kinda...loving-life girl if you see what I mean ^^;
Vegetarism is still a good thing to me, except as I said before when in a restaurant or invited. I now realize extremist behaviour is never good.
But, still, Tofu rules :)
So, from Tuesday (time I make errands)
I' gonna eat things I like better like orange juice and milk and cereals for breakfast, still tofu in a sandwich at noon and vegetables with olive oil, bread and a yoghourt at supper, and some chocolate and a pastry once or twice during the week.
After my depression I kinda started focusing on ascetic way of life and my mother is probably right saying it doesn't help my death angsts -we don't live in a serene tibetan temple but in stressing city life, and we must adapt our way to live and indulge a little...I guess there is some sort of wisdom in it...
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| Little update |
[04 Mar 2006|10:14pm] |
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mood |
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 sleepy |
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Tomorrow we're gonna have 2 more babies to care after : 2 degus females that we're given <3
I so so so love rodents so I'm really happy about it :DD
What else to say? Oh yeah, I'm finding myself getting some renewal of interest for Slayers...especially for Sylphiel. Really not such a fandom as it was before, but I can start to see all the good sides again without thinking of the troubles it had brought into my life !
Mmh I also bought new eyes make-up at the Body Shop (cosmetics that are not tested on animals) but I'd like to work and have a salary now so I can buy all I need there.
Oh, yeah, I discovered there were reunions of vege/vegan in my city to meet and have a meal at vege restaurant, but after having thought about it I decided it wouldn't be a good idea : they're probably gonna be rabid politic-specialists, talking about OGM and stuff...and I would be so lost among them!
I would have prefered a fantasy-fans reunions ! ^^;
(after all I don't need especially someone who has same diet than me as a friend or more, but someone who respects I am so and with who I can share my Fantasy love...)
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| Update (positive one) |
[02 Mar 2006|07:47pm] |
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mood |
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I've never felt so good since I'm back to my dear vegan diet -I feel like loving eating much more, and in harmony with my body and soul.
I'm also happy that I'm gonna rp back a little soon. A way to spend good moments with online friends.
Too bad my dad's become obsessed with internet- I can't even go to the toilet without I see him sitting at my place when I'm back o_o;;
Well, anyway, I still have time to make what I have to ^^
And finally, I'm happy feeling motivated to read more books (fantasy ones ^^) and listening to new, "wiser" music like Loreena MvKennitt...
So, even if I still fragile, I can feel I'm loving life again for good -at the contition of keeping a certain spiritaulity and imagination ;)
Oh by the way I left my other journal cause I realised that I wasn't at ease with some of the people reading it...it's not paranoia, it's just that I know they don't understand me well, and so I don't feel at ease with it ^^;
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| Note to self |
[01 Mar 2006|02:31pm] |
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mood |
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busy |
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*To find a fairy/ fantasy layout
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